Not words one may typically might expect to find in the same sentence, but a growing number of us are celebrating the end of our unions with a knees-up. Celebratory divorce cakes and cards are getting to be quite the norm also.
How do most people feel about divorce parties however? Would that courageous party face be a veneer as we danced the night away, needing to reassure our friends and loved ones that we are alright, or would we be truly observing? I am guessing the answer is as varied as the different people and stories from the mix.
When things begin to go wrong people will often try many things until they finally decide to call it a day, committing to working through adultery, deception, financial hardship or behavioral difficulties. Before they call the divorce attorney they have often tried treatment, counseling from friends, family members, spiritual advisers, mediators or trial separations until they finally say ‘no more’.
Practical issues aplenty also must be dealt with. Finances and possessions will need to be trawled through and apportioned accordingly. Ownership of this CD collection or a 5 year old Christmas gift can suddenly attain an unprecedented degree of significance and poignancy as it makes the reality of this situation even more bleak. There is seldom a reason to feel like celebrating!
Children can suffer the most because of divorce, feeling torn if they are asked to decide where to live or feel that they are expected to take sides. There might even be the development of new step-parents slowly making their presence felt. Child-related matters can call for much tolerance and patience so as to amicably settle custodial, financial, Melbourne fl squirrel removal and national arrangements. And even grown-up kids can struggle to take the end of the parents’ marriage, ‘it is not supposed to happen’, can be heard quite often at these times.
Friends may be split in their loyalties, often declining to take sides, but in fact often ending up in 1 camp. Or friendships might be dropped entirely because the newly single situation causes discomfort or unease as everybody’s struggling to adapt the new arrangements. It can even be an unsettling time for friends as they can not help but reflect on the real state of their cozy domestic structures.
After all of the drama there is often a period of despair to be worked through, a feeling of loss and feeling a failure to be processed. Post-divorce can necessitate time to cure and lick one’s wounds. It’s uncommon for both parties to feel the same about a separation and over time the situation may have become acrimonious; each party might have had different perspectives of the union.
So, once the dust begins to settle and a new house, lifestyle and routine have been embarked upon, throwing a party can seem to be a sign that things are finally coming together and a new normality has begun to take shape.
It may be a time to shout, ‘I am coming from the other side’. However, it’s also important to be careful as to how one’s ex is feeling. If one individual is obviously struggling financially or is still hurting badly surely some tact and sensitivity is suitable.
After all, you loved each other once. And children, even adult children, can feel aggrieved if their parent’s display insensitivity by observing excessively at such a tricky time.
Each of the pre-divorce years of negativity, hurt, tolerance of a bad situation or time spent hopeless at an increasing indifference between you both – all that’s finally come to an end.
Tastefully pulling friends, family and fans together to share a fantastic time and say ‘thanks’ for their aid may be an important method to draw a line under the past and begin your devotion to a happier, more optimistic new stage in your life.